Posted: April 10, 2012 in General

So this last week had me thinking about my blog again!

It took a job application for me to actually remember to sign in….what is going on. And now imagine my shock to now realise it’s been a year since I’ve actually blogged…..damn!

But I’ve also realised a lot has happened in that year.

My job description changed – twice! I’m now the other side of Town Hall Station.
I moved house, changed churches. Started and finished a short course. Cooked a high tea. Dreamt up a thousand projects, started too many to list, completed a handful, and its april!

Must make time to ponder, think, imagine and share with you more!

Hope to see you soon :)


Posted: March 20, 2011 in General
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It’s been raining solidly all night and no change as I start my day. But there is something comforting in this rain. It seems to be saying all the things I can not say.

Consistent falling water drops calm me with a sense of security, like that favourite blanket you carried as a child. I know this rain is probably causing havoc for many others, but today, this rain is for me, it suits me perfectly.

new friendship

Posted: March 19, 2011 in General

There is too much and nothing all at the same time. I don’t have to do anything, yet have to do everything. My mind overflows with ideas until it is completely blank. Its the third month of the year, and I have no answers. But I’m not sure I even know what I was asking in the first place.

This has been the most honest introduction of myself, and it hasn’t yet gone past meeting me. So where to from here??

It’s nice to meet you. You’re more intriguing than I ever thought. There’s an eagerness about you, but such history of frailty. I can see where the breaks have been, but the mending jobs have been thorough. Only faint scars remain, reminding you of stories you can re-tell in anecdotal form.

I have to admit, I see a beauty in you, not one I can describe, cos I have never seen this quite before. Sometimes it fades.

This can only mature over time.

Please stay, I like you. You’re new, you’re better, you’re you and you’re letting me be me. This is new

Candlelight Thoughts

Posted: November 30, 2010 in General

I have always been entertained by candlelight and flames, possibly even verging on being a firebug when I was a child. :S I would watch the flame as it danced with the smallest change in the air, or stand tall without a flinch, looking as strong and immovable as steel. Need it be said, I was very excited by the idea to play with some tea lights and my new camera. So, in what I lovingly refer to as my hole in the wall (which is actually a desk), I proceeded to create a small black space which would hopefully allow me to capture the effects of the flames as they played in the dark.

I played with settings on the camera and created patterns with decorative stones as toys for the flames, and three hours later I had a range of images, capturing a number of different moments created by these little lights. As I ploughed through what some would consider a ridiculous amount of photos of candles, I reflected upon what I had captured.

Some moments in life I don’t feel too dissimilar to one of these little candles. Some moments in life I feel small, with not enough energy or ability to make a change, or be significant. Sometimes I feel like my flame is so small it could be blown out at any minute. But as I kept shooting I was reminded of one of the reasons I have always loved candlelight!

You see no matter how small the candle is, when it is pitch black, that one little flame can give enough light that lets you see your way around, to make out images of what surrounds you and keep you guided on your path. As I played with more candles I watched as different parts of the stone paths I laid came to life with each new flame. No flame overplayed the other, but each adding there own bit of light to the world around them.

So I’m happy to say I don’t mind being like one of these small, yet noticeable, candles. Being able to play my part, shed my light on my part of the world. And to remember that I’m not the only one who has these moments either. Some days my flame may be blown about with risk of disappearing all together, other days it may be strong and confident. Either way it’s always nice to remember that the smallest light can make a difference, and you’re not the only one :)

Depression Bites

Posted: November 24, 2010 in General
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I have been encouraged by some friends of mine to consider the issue of mental health, in particular depression. Most people will have heard of Movember, an initiative for mens health (www.movember.com) which targets both prostate cancer and depression in men, and sees men everywhere growing a Mo for the cause.

So this coordinated growing of facial hair got me thinking. Over the years many of my friends, family members and even myself have experienced a form of depression. Some times life threatening at worse leading to the cessation of life, but always in some degree life altering. And while, I must admit, that most of my understanding of depression is from a female perspective, it can effect anyone of any age, and depression ain’t pretty.

Depression damned well bites!!

And it bites hard. It can be like a wound, that has never completely healed, and can gush open again at another moment. It can take your energy, your enthusiasm, sometimes the ability to just generally function in life. Sometimes it can stop you from doing the very things that help keep you out of depression.

But depression bites beyond the one suffering with it. I’ve witnessed family members try to reach loved ones as they attempt to cope, only for the depression to build bigger brick walls in the relationship.

I’ve been left gutted, and helpless, as I’ve struggle to support friends who I dearly love to see beyond this sickness.

I’ve been left ashamed when I’ve treated my own family in horrible ways as depression has reared its ugly head in my own life.

Depression goes beyond having a bad day, or feeling sad, and its effects can extend further than the person in front of you. I don’t know why depression seems to be so common, but I am sure that it is not completely understood, and dealing with it can be one of the toughest things someone can do.

Depression is something that needs to be acknowledged, not ignored. It is not always easy to understand, but for those dealing with it, or supporting those suffering from depression, any effort to help understand and defeat this beast is definitely appreciated!



When Beauty Swore

Posted: November 17, 2010 in General
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So I am very captured by beauty, in many forms. Sound, movement, image…many, many ways, but most the beauty I see in people. Not just the physical beauty, but the beauty found in someone’s character, in a overflowing, glowing personality, in watching people express themselves as they walk, sit and run through life.

But sometimes beauty gets disturbed.

And in a brief moment, i witnessed beauty’s disruption. It was nothing earth shattering, or even out of place, but in general conversation it overflowed “Get lost motherf*****”

I stopped, I wasn’t offended, it’s not like I hadn’t heard that said before, and I confess that words like these have crossed my very own lips in time gone by. But there I stood, watching, looking at someone, who I saw sooo much beauty in. A welcoming, vibrant personality, someone with strength, but yet a playful outlook on life.

I was disappointed.

At first, I was not sure why. I am not someone to “tsk” at the use of swear words. But somehow, in that moment, my heart hung a little heavy. At what point did the same thing that portrayed to me such beauty change to something that would now treat another with such disgrace.

So I realised, it wasn’t so much the swearing itself, but the revealing of a part of someone that was not so beautiful, the part, that somehow mixed with the beauty, rendered themselves greater than another, with no reason except them deciding so. A part that more often kept itself hidden, but at this moment, without warning, flowed out, not harshly, but smoothly. Almost as to not be noticed, but left a subtle bitterness to the situation.

As beauty swore I was reminded no beauty is perfect, but to fight for beauty….fight for genuineness, to continually remember the value of others, to grow in character and strength…… is beauty worth fighting for.

Old Fashion

Posted: November 11, 2010 in General
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Well after a brief break I’m back to share my thoughts :)

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately….verging on too much even. That’s nothing new for me, but I think I’ve discovered something!!! oo what is it?? I hear you say.

Ok, i’ll tell you!

Deep down, I think I’m really old fashioned! (Ok so maybe that wasn’t as exciting for you)

But really this is quite a revelation for myself, you see, I love a lot of ‘contemporary’ things, my love for dance, music and imagery has made me incredibly passionate about artistic endeavours, and strive to push the boundaries of creativity and its use. I will take the opportunity to push peoples views beyond their own immediate environment in the hope that, somehow, people can come to a greater understanding of one another. But what is at the core of me??

Well, along with my more recent love of vintage fashion, I have come to recognise my vintage values. Beyond the effort I take to engage in current cultural activities and thoughts, I am embraced by the old school images of family, the wife who can love, cherish and support her husband and children, and help to provide a family home. The old fashioned house wife, has such a beautiful simplicity to it.

While I understand there is much controversy in placing women in a stereotyped description of a wife, and I think as a society we have moved beyond many of these, the core values of living life together with someone speaks so very loud to me. To build a family, to share love through support and long-term dedication to building, sharing and doing life together……so maybe my views are also somewhat idealistic, (complete with 1950’s style dream like images) I am single after all, and Nan assures me that cooking is not so fun when you have to think of what to cook every night :P

But regardless of what culturally relevant ideas I pursue, I stand on my vintage values of love, family and commitment, and wether I get to be part of that or not, at least I’ll have fun with my vintage fashion along the way :)